Dormitory Adana'da

Yes, I want to go back.
I want to stay in room 212 one more time, get up at 8:10 and have breakfast at 8:20. A very lazy breakfast, in fact. And I want to play tennis for free with The Professional Player Number One (The Wall) and Number Two (Aşkım, The Polish Daredevil, you know what I mean) from 9:00 till 10:00. And then, after finally having my door open, take a really cold shower, tabi ki soğuk su zaman var.

Shoot a 30-second movie, a FearFactory kind, titled "How To Use A Turkish Toilette". (for those who don't know, the answer is pretty simple: very fast!)
I want to solve The Mystery Of The Closed Gate. Anachtar yok, problem var.
And later, para yok, problem yok, tamam mı?
I want to see the sunset in Göreme, talk to Genek on the edge of the world and drive the winding Cappadoccia roads.
I want to go back to finish the Polish - Czech war, to cut off the electricity in a certain part of the guest house, and to teach others how to slam the door in a professional way.
I want to have the childlish hope that after finishing the Turkish course and going back to the dormitory I will be able to use the internet, cook something, hear the magic phrase "Sicak su var!!" and spend around one hour under the shower. People have no idea how wonderful it is to feel the hot water running down your back until they experience having the cold showers for few days in a row.
I want to go back to run up and down the stairs to the laundry room in the middle of the night (from 2nd floor to the basement), and finally twist my ankle, because despite all my enermous efforts I was absolutely unsuccessful in this matter.

You cannot even imagine, but from time to time olur means olmaz, and the other way round. Evet, evet.
For the question "Where do you stay?" I want to answer "Lojman'da".
Yes, I want to go back.

A hug is worth a thousand words

A friend is worth more.

1. Blue eyes, sometimes grey, sometimes green.
2. Smile, trying to keep it in my eyes, and on my lips.
3. Still addicted to hope, friends and internet.
4. Don't wear glasses, though I should.
5. Setting my mind and heart free, step by step every day.
6. Woke up yesterday to an empty sky.
7. Building slowly my own paradise, setting some rainbow connections.
8.Waiting for Edinburgh to come true.
9. Driving my car.
10. Lost sometimes in modern world.
11. Still don't understand Turkish.
12. Believed in Destiny and Fortune last Monday.
13. 2/3 coffee, 1/3 milk, 2 spoons of sugar.
14. Portofino, Małe tęsknoty, Amsterdam.
15. Lady Dragon.
16. Living alone in my room.
17. Moonlight.
18. American Literature.
19. Apple juice.
20. Diploma paper.
21. Guerlain, Aqua Alegoria, Herba Fresca.
22. Serendipity, you never know...
23. Sunspots.
24. Don't go anywhere without camera.
25. Quiting smoking.
26. Three bracelets.
27. Counting flowers on the walls.
28. Having some good memories.
29. And some wonderful as well...
30. Being lazy.

Fingers crossed

I've just stopped loving you.
I've just opened
the window of my heart
the door of my soul
the gate of my mind

they haven't been open for such a long time
too long time

I have to warm them now
it's so cold inside
I have to fulfill them now
with sunshine
with smiles
with laughing tears

I've just stopped loving you.
just like that
quietly
gently
successfully
with one thunder of surprise
exactly in the same way I felt in love
with you

I put the moments in a big box
I put the box in the basement
I don't want to look in there
not anymore

I've just stopped loving you.
I've just set some memories free
I've just let them fade vanish disappear

I've just seen my reflection in the mirror
... words never spoken stopped on my lips...
they are waiting
for the perfect time
the moment in between

... wise thoughts dancing in my hair ...
enjoying their moments
of existence

... smile in blue eyes ...
without looking back
just straight into the future

I've just crossed my fingers

08.03.2006

out of my mind

how did you get this far,
understanding nothing at all
you're nothing but small talk,
is there anybody home
is there a secret plan that you follow,
do you do any thinking of your own
make up your mind,
flip a coin or something
just say anything but i don't know
you do so much sneaking around,
is it some kind of a stupid little game
let's pretend that you're the master mind,
and i'm your little blind dope

stay out of my sight,
i'll put you out of my mind
don't even want to know you anymore
stay out of my sight,
i'll put you out of my mind
out of my mind
don't even want to know you anymore
stay out of my sight,
i'll put you out of my mind
how did you get this far,
understanding nothing at all
you're nothing but small talk,
is there anybody home
transparent,
simple mind
just hold your hands over my eyes
unless you're trying to insult me
you'd better work harder on those lies

by Samiam