Bitti Rüya by maNga

Bir kez gelmişsin bu saçma dünyaya
Olanları unutmak çok zor inan bana
Sevdiğin insan bile artık yalan söylüyor
Yaşadığın anılar acı vermeye başlıyor

Bir köprüden geçiyorum
Mutlu gibiyim sanki
Geride bir kent bıraktım bir de sevgili
Rüya mı bu, gerçek mi inan anlamıyorum
Bu şehir beni içine çekiyor
Kendimi alamıyorum

Olanlar yetmez gibi bir de mesaj geliyor
"Mutluluklar, hoşçakal"
Birer birer zırvalanıyor
İyice dağıtmak için biraz daha içiyorum
Sonra oturmuş mal gibi zırıl zırıl ağlıyorum

Gidiyorum buralardan, dönüyorum durmadan
Uyan artık uyan, bitti rüya
Seviyorum sormadan, öpüyorum kasmadan
Dayan artık dayan, bitti rüya

Bir kez gelmişsin bu saçma dünyaya
Olanları unutmak çok zor inan bana
Yazdığın satırlar bile artık yalan söylüyor
Söylediğin sözler acı vermeye başlıyor

Bir köprüyü yakıyorum mutlu gibiyim sanki
Geride bir kent bıraktım bir de sevgili
Doğru mu, yanlış mı inan umursamıyorum
Bu şehir beni esir ediyor kendimi alamıyorum

İnanmazsın bir rüya hayatımı değiştiriyor
O mesajı unutmam için bana bir şans veriyor
Rüyaysa bu gerçekten artık uyanmak istiyorum
Mutluluk bile acı veriyor
Çünkü sonu var biliyorum


The dream is over
You came to this world only once
It’s difficult to forget the events, believe me
Even the one you love lies to you
The moments you lived start to hurt you

I’m crossing a bridge
As if I were happy
I left behind a love and city
Is this a dream or reality, I don’t know, believe me
This city draws me in, I can’t handle myself

As if the events weren’t enough there comes a message
„Be happy, take care”
Pointless messages keep coming
I drink some more to be able to forget myself
Then staring like an idiot I burst into sobbing

I’m going away from here, I’m leaving without a stop
The dream is over, wake up now, wake up,
I love without asking, I kiss without force
Endure it, endure, the dream is over

You came to this world only once
It’s difficult to forget the events, believe me
Even the lines you wrote lie to you
The words you said start to hurt you

I’m burning a bridge, as if I were happy
I left behind a love and a city
Right or wrong, I don’t care, believe me,
I can’t handle myself, this city captivates me

You don’t believe but a dream is changing my life
Gives me a chance to forget that message
If this is a dream, I really wanna wake up now
Even happiness hurts
'Cauze I know it has an end.

maNga




The dream is over, and would be nice if some people finally get this message.

I believe in...

I believe in a man, this piece of rubbish;
I believe in a man, this piece of shit;
This shifting sand, lifeless water;

I believe in a man, this wacko,
This bag of false pride;
I believe in a man, this lipsalve,
This wind - bag who wastes words,
This fire - brand and eavesdropper,
I believe in a man, this blood sucker.

Despite all the things
A man is able to do,
I believe in him,
For his safe hand,
For his affection for freedom,
For his play of imagination,

For his vertigo when he watches the stars,
I believe in a man
For the salt of his friendship,
For depths of his eyes, for his laughter,
For his momentum and his imperfection.

For always I believe in a man
For his making advances helping hand.
For given look.
And besides, first and foremost
For his simple greeting of an ordinary shepherd.

Lucien Jaques


This is poem above was originally written in French, so I migth not have kept the real spirit and the real atmosphere of it. But this is what I believe in: a man, a human, a person. I believe in Love. I believe in Hope. And...

...I believe in Angels, the kind that Heaven sends... I'm surrounded by Angels, but I call them my Best Friends.

Hold on little girl

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page, and if I'm not there, I carry on as usual.
Patrick Moore

Micheal Brown's going home, he did it!! It's not the latest news, but I just had to write it :) What am I talking about? View From The Sidewalk, link on this page in links section, enjoy :)

What the hell is going on here??

Ok, you asked for that. Time for some next final reflections after coming back from Adana.
Since March, I have been sitting, observing, reading, watching, analyzing stuff. Mainly the stuff connected to TTC , known also as KJO. And the final thoughts... they just scare me.
Leaving last year (October2005) to Turkey, I knew that there was some mutual animosity between the members of my own group at KJO. Happens everywhere, it's not possible to have a bunch of individuals who co-exist together in some nice and friendly atmospehere all the time. That's normal. There were some ups&downs, but more less 'twas ok.
But the atmosphere that I experienced after my coming back.... frankly speaking I was a bit in schock. I had many troubles fitting again in the reality of KJO life, because of different reasons, it's not time to state them now and to make you feel sorry for me. And the group atmosphere was not making that coming back to reality easy. I'm not saying that people should welcome me with champagne and flowers and roll the red carpet in front of me. Definitely not. It's not my point.
My point is the situation I found at KJO. What I noticed was the official war between people. I constantly have heard some vicious comments towards people I liked more or less, some freaking gossips, some conspiracy theories. KJO war has been going on for good.
Time passed and this war has developed. The latest battle took place last night. The field of the battle - "AgataL & students" Blog. I was reading the battle report and the words that came to my mind were "What the f..k??" Those who are interested in this particular issue know, what has started this sophisticated comment discussion on the neutral teritory.
And now, because this is my own private space, where I can freely express my point of view, this is what I have to say about this, so read carefully, take into cosideration, if you want, or don't. Feel free to comment, if you wish.
I do not approve public flattering in such form, I do not approve attacking with words as it has been done there, I do not approve making people feeling sorry for what is not their fault. I know, freedom of speech, The Blue Ribbon Campaign, I perfectly get it, and I am 100% for freedom of expressing whatever comes to somebody's mind. Especially in case of blogs. But I don't have to approve everything, and I do not have to be pleased with everything. As people noticed, some particular line has been crossed. Unfortunatelly. I also admire few teachers from my past schooling experience, few from my present education process. I really do. And they know about that without me making a-big-thing-public-statements. I do it in my way, the way I feel is right. In this particular battle, most probably buttering-thing was not the main issue, but as you have noticed, it has been taken as such. People are only some human beings, they do make mistakes (known from experience, I'm not saint, I have few sins to be sorry for), they do things they believe are right, and later on it turns out that they did something opposite, very often unintentionally. But we are THE human beings, those who can think, observe, feel. And it works both ways, my dear KJO members.
Freedom of speech? There you go, but be aware of all those things it may cause. Word is a powerful weapon, and it needs a skilled person to use it right. If you are brave enough to express what comes to your mind, be brave enough to take the criticism with dignity.
My intention is not to judge particular people here, I'm not the right person to do it. All I wanted to state is what I think about the situation as such.
Most probably, to be continued...

Ok, I have something to add.
Writing some posts on blogs of classmates, if I can say so, I'm not defending anybody. Just stating facts, or giving my opinion. One may not like it, fine. I've listened to both sides' arguments. And it doesn't have to mean, that I totally agree or disagree with any of them.

Clouds of smiles carried on the wings of wind

Barlumi di felicità cadono, come i petali di una rosa nel deserto, sul pavimento delle emozioni, lasciando di essi il solo ricordo..

Nuvole di sorrisi, trasportate dal vento, cambiano forma come cambia il mio umore..

Strade senza meta scorrono sotto i miei piedi, come le lancette di un orologio scandiscono gli ultimi istanti di una tristezza lontana..

Vorrei poterti regalare un cielo degno del tuo splendore mia stella.. ma il solo che posso donarti sono i miei occhi carichi di un amore mai dato..

(by Marco)

Recently I was going through some blog of a person I used to know. I found this short text. Because my Italian is not that good to get the exact meaning, I asked my friend to translate this for me. And I was astonished. Few things became clear, and got the new meaning. But... does it matter now?? I guess not that much. Just the Memories are nicer, warmer and a bit more precious. They make me smile inside...

My Sky is beautiful, Streets under my feet are getting their destination, Sadness is going away. Glimmers of Happiness are falling down, kissing my face, they are shining in my eyes.

The Memories... the inseparable part of my Existence.

The photograph

Yes, this is me. The little creature with smile in her eyes.
This photo was taken when I was not able to move very fast, and I simply couldn't escape. Later on, when I grew up a bit, and learnt that it's great fun to run, the task of taking a picture of me turned into some kind of MissionImpossible thing.
As a child I was not a very problematic person.... Maybe except for making my mum a bit nervous by sitting in some open window. The problem was that the window was on the 2nd floor. Moreover, after some time I decided that instead of just sitting there, I'd have a walk. So I did.
And maybe except putting my fingers where they definitely didn't belong, for example between one part of the door of a big old blue Mercedes van, and the rest of a car. And my dad, instead of taking me to my beloved Kindergarden, had to introduce my Little Hand to some Big Guy in a white uniform.
Ohh, and maybe except the very moment when my mum had to leave all her important things and take me to pay a visit to another Big Guy in a white uniform, when a girl in my beloved Kindergarden hit me with a plastic wasching maschine. The Big Guy told my mum that two centimeters closer to my nose and I would had lost my left eye, or two centimeters higher, and he would had to come to pick me up.
Well, I wasn't doing things on purpose. I mean, not always.

Going back to reality 110 km/h

Well, kinda melancholic mood today. Most probably that's the consequence of last night's events. Do I regret? I don't know, not yet. I know it was the decision I should have made a long time ago. That would have saved some unnecessary words that were said, and some unnecessary actions that were taken. Things done, they can't be undone.

Long hot shower in the middle of the night... standing at least one hour under the hot stream of water, saying goodbye to Yesterday. I felt the old days... they were flowing down with water, the old dreams, laughs and tears. Seven months' outer skin was washed out. I put on the lotion of Hope, the balm of Tomorrow.
I dressed up, took the keys, and drove... just drove... Surrounded by Darkness, I got to my place, to my Room... Finally... I charged my batteries, put memories in the correct boxes, crossed out all the superfluous things. I opened the balcony door, I let the rain kiss my face...
I took a deep breath... darkness filled my lungs...
It made me feel alive.